4 boobs and a botox bruise

4 boobs and a botox bruise

One day, like many other people, I will write a book, and last week by chance I stumbled across its title (well it’s a start).

I am just your average middle aged, working mum carrying a few extra lockdown pounds, experiencing the odd night sweat, juggling the housework, kids and grandchild with running a business and trying to look like a swan on the surface! Somehow that makes it sound so easy, in my head this list is so much longer!

Well anyway I was having a bit of a day of it, as you do. I’d agreed to do a skills swap with a fabulous photographer friend, Kathryn Goddard @capturethismoment and had previously carried out my specialty, a colour and style consultation, with Kathryn to help her choose an outfit or two for her forthcoming branding photo shoot.

The day had come for my side of the deal, and we had planned my branding shoot at another gorgeous friend Teri Chance’s boutique in Lydney. As a style consultant this location was just perfect and all I had to do was turn up and look stylish! Simples!

I had planned a weekend of self care prior to my photo shoot to include de-fuzzing the eyebrows and upper lip, a facial with exfoliation and mask, nails polished, hair taming practiced and perfected and plenty of time to put together some well thought out outfits to use throughout the seasons on my social media.

And is that how it actually panned out? Is it heck!

My self care weekend had been spent decorating and wallpapering my mums new kitchen and there was no room for rescheduling as we had to work around builders. The usual fetching and carrying of muddy moutain biking teenage boys, nanny duties and the sanitising of my house ready for next weeks work also had to be crow-barred in. Therefore my nails had a different type of paint on them or should I say under them. Hair removal consisted of a quick uneven eyebrow tweeze and a pluck of the random chin hair! And as far as planning outfits went, well it didn’t!

And then mother nature did her thing and I woke up still tired from my normal relaxing weekend with a bloated period belly complete with cramps and those extra boobs that don’t fit in your bra!

I grabbed an IKEA bag and quickly put together a few favourite outfits. I didn’t give much thought to accessories as luckily I knew Teri would have plenty of choice at the boutique.

Up showered, razored, hair went ok-ish, apart from a random TV ariel curl that protruded more and more as the day went on  (see pic), school run done and then off to Lydney I headed feeling a bit shit and unprepared. But I had one saving grace, thank god I had my Botox done a few days ago and as I glanced to check the results, in the unforgiving rearview mirror, I noticed a botox bruise on my forehead!

After following a tractor practically all the way there I arrived a bit flustered and late but after a coffee and a joint sharing of stressful weekend stories we ending up having a great day and a right old giggle at my 4 Boobs and a Botox bruise! My book title right there.

So why am I bothering to share this with you? Well just because I can. We’re all human. We all have shit days and you can guarantee the days you need to go well are the ones that don’t. Rushing around like a madwoman is ok if that’s how you roll, but it’s sharing it with friends and seeing the funny side that’s essential.

So put on some lippy and smile, no one will ever know.